Melania's bowling shoes

We find our protagonist, Melania T., with her feet up at the White House's basement bowling alley. She is alternately admiring her imported, custom, Italian bowling shoes and the One Direction singer's ass, as he moves the 6'x8' picture frame around the wall, half way down the aging single lane. She is enjoying his band mates' banter from the bar and the afterglow of having bowled a 236 with such young, rich, and famous guests.

“It has to be off floor mate."

“At least a half-a-foot. Put your back into it," adds the drummer.

“You come put your back into it, yeh git," as co-lead singer twists left, to a pose the former model hostess can really appreciate.

“On me way to save yeh from further embarassment and shame," as drummer drains his trendy cherry-lemon vodka and jets down the lane, in non-designer bowling flats. He slides past his struggling band mate and cartoon shuffles back to grab one side of the jumbo frame.

Melania joins the two remaining members at the bar, to ensure they are still enjoying their clandestine visit to the White House. They assure her that undercover cocktails and bowling in the basement is much better than high profile handshakes upstairs, and that this third hour is only like the first hour after one of their concerts. Oh, the energy of youth.

“Right there, guys. That looks good," she says to her ersatz, and so sexy, decorators.

They have to question Melania's sincerity, since the frame is balanced on one corner. She strides down the lane and asks if it shouldn't be hung diagonally, with no subtle wink to innuendo. Each shrugs from their side of the frame, which seals her decision.

“Here we go," says Melania, while picking up the electric nail gun at the boy-men's feet. She assertively shoots nails into the four corners and steps back. The four band mates gather with her and nod approval.

“See," she says, “The way the actress is holding the head makes it look like it's pulling the picture over!"