Blog entry, December 2012

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.  Here in prison it is a day of altered routine and general congeniality.  Human of course don’t undergo 24 hour temporary personality changes but there is an extra large lunch meal and a suspension of hostilities.  I attribute this to a break in routine because inmates become so hidebound to routine that they attach their prejudices and degenerate behaviors to their “prison routine.”  So we all take a “positive break” and act, if not thankful, housebroken.

My thankful moment occurred upon returning, almost last, from the chow hall to the unit.  I hooked a u-turn at the door of the unit to walk an extra lap and enjoy the windless, cloudless and temperate weather; and immediately noticed the perfect lack of any other humans.  No guards.  No inmates.  No sight of the perimeter truck.  The near silence lent to a sublime moment.  The generators – land caterpillars – had been running 20 minutes earlier.  The moment held for half the walk back until the perimeter truck slid into view and a few straggling Thanksgiving diners debouched from the chow hall.  A solitary outdoor moment that was not shattered by ignorant screaming nor industrial noises; I’ll take it!J

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Regarding ambition – in the context of all the “stay motivated,” “stay positive,” excel under pressure,” and “tricks our brains play,” type of books I read – I have come to the conclusion that I am a motivated dabbler.   Of a dozen interests I usually maintain focus on four and study/practice them, with acceptable intensity, for 20-45 minutes at a stretch.

The dabbler assessment comes from the dozen interests, “want – to – knows;” the motivated assessment comes from having followed through on a few.  ;)  Of course teaching oneself (autodidactism) presents an early plateau to developing any proficiency, which really pisses me off.  I am currently blaming that for my attention span being down to a 45 minute maximum; how can one become proficient without time spent focusing?

Are you fucking kidding me?  At one time I was able to work out for two hours and do two hours of homework without having to force my focus.

After trying to autodidactically learn to play piano, about four different times over the past 13 years, I hope to be taught, and maybe learn.

Tell me about your ambition and ability to focus and absorb information.  You can e-mail me @ jason.pecci@gmail.com and my momager will snail mail all responses on to me.

Are you a dabbler – distracted by multiple interests – single focus?

Are you autodidact – monkey see / monkey do

Are you between organic (practice time short but often) and obsessive (intense long practices)

I feel that due to either aging and/or incarceration, I may be losing my ability to absorb information; maybe just the ability to focus appropriately to absorb information.

Feedback welcome.

jason.pecci@gmail.com